At the end of April, I published a blog post here about the nightmare my husband (and, by extension, myself) was facing. At the start of May, I wrote an update. Well, it’s August now, and we’re still facing the Same. Damn. Thing. It’s exhausting just thinking about it, but let me give you a recap:

When I met Steve, two and half years ago, he was already ill. He was diagnosed with diabetes maybe four years ago. Six months after that, he collapsed, was in a coma for a bit, and woke up to find he had the bonus condition of seizures. Fatigue came along for the ride, happy in its task of exacerbating his existing mental health issues (anxiety and depression) – I speak of all this with levity, holding fast to the old adage, “If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry.”

About three years ago, Steve moved back home with his parents and got a new job. He collapsed again, while at work, and had to be removed in an ambulance. There was just no way he could go back, so he did the obvious thing of applying for welfare. (I hate the word ‘benefits’ and the connotations it conjures up, but that’s a different rant for a different day.)

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To everyone who has shared and commented on my previous blog post, I want to give you many, many thanks. Steve and I really appreciate the love and support we’ve had from everyone.

I thought I should probably give a bit of an update on how things are now. I know not that much time has passed, but there have been a few developments.

Some of you asked if we have a representative to help us through everything and yes, we do. Although our appeal against Steve’s DLA decision was unsuccessful, our representative has told us that we still can challenge the decision at a higher level, so we have formally requested more details on that.

Regarding our claim for ESA, we now have a tribunal date and are in the process of preparing for that, having met with Steve’s GP today.

The past week has maybe been one of the hardest yet, as Steve’s health has suffered more due to stress and I’ve also started feeling burnt out again. We’re just trying to get through one day at a time and all of the kind messages we’ve had has really helped. I cannot emphasise that enough.

To answer another question we’ve received a lot, I don’t think there is anything else anyone can do to help us at this stage (other than the aforementioned well wishes). I have been toying with the idea of starting a petition to submit to the ombudsman, urging him to reconsider the DLA decision, but have been advised to hold off on that just yet. If it becomes necessary, I will share the link around and would appreciate it if people would pass it on.

A couple of local politicians have shared our plight and someone has been in contact to ask if the media can run a story. Time will tell what, if anything, will come of that. Steve is reluctant to draw attention to all this, almost, but it is important. We just hope it won’t be held against us somehow.

On a different note, I feel the need almost to proactively defend myself. I know welfare is such a contested issue and it engenders a lot of strong opinions. I would like to urge people to question things before they judge.

Maybe you’ve seen me post a status about attending the theatre in the past week, and maybe you think to yourself that it’s terrible we are pleading poverty while spending money on seemingly frivolous things. If that is what you think then to you I say that things are not as simple as all that.

As hard as things have been, it’s a fight to find positive things in our lives to focus on and keep us going. It’s vitally important now more than ever to make the most out of the good days.

We may have little money and an uncertain future but, to paraphrase something Churchill once said, if we stop investing in the good things in life, then what are we even fighting for?

This is a bit of a life update, because a lot seems to be going on in my life right now.

As I mentioned in my end of year post for 2015, I got engaged. And now, on the one-year anniversary of when we first spoke/instant messaged – TOMORROW – my partner and I are moving in together! Add to that the recent launch of the new wing to my business, and the book launch I’m having in two-days time, things. are. hectic!

Having just returned from the shop with a small easter egg for myself, I was about to tweet “Having a small party for myself, on my last night alone.” Yes, eating chocolate may not exactly equate to a party, but think about what I just said, for a second. My last night alone. Forever.

That’s kinda only just sank in.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, dear reader, but we’re now living in a modern world. Having hailed from a strict Christian upbringing, certain things from “normal life” (that is, things from outside the influence of the church) still feel a bit alien to me.

From my parent’s point of view, there is a certain sequence in which things are done: you meet someone, you get engaged, you get married, *then* you move in. Whereas, for most other people, you meet someone, fall in love, move in, and then comes the engagement and marriage bit, but it’s entirely optional.

It was as a kind of compromise between these two ways of going at it that my partner and I got engaged before we started house hunting, yet are moving in before we actually take vows. (Always a fan of the untravelled road that is the third option.)

For many people, moving in with someone is not a binding promise to be with them the rest of your lives, the way marriage is, but seeing as we’ve already resolved to do that, albeit at a later time; this, for us, will indeed be our last night alone.

It’s just occurred to me that perhaps now is when the bachelorette party should take place. Tradition needs to grow and change with society. (Which ultimately makes me think of whole same-sex marriage issue, but that’s a whole other blog post.)

Tonight, I’m celebrating love (by means of eating chocolate), and tomorrow I start a new adventure. Who’s with me?