The Chocolate Scullery (Flash Fiction)

During the September meeting for Belfast Writers’ Group (which has finally got back together after its long hiatus!), we did a writing exercise in which we wrote something based on three prompts: the name a room, a luxurious material, and something that rots. Pictured above are the options I was handed, and below is what I made of them. Heads up, it’s about to get weird.

Dark chocolate wasn’t the material you often found rooms made out of, but this room – a scullery on the side of a cliff – was no ordinary room. It had three walls, half a roof, and only one other room attached to it: a kitchen.

Inside the scullery was a large dining table, also made out of dark chocolate. On it were three matching candlesticks made out of white chocolate, and a centrepiece of lard.

Having only three walls, there was no need for any windows, but it had six anyway. It was soon discovered after the room was built that if you didn’t keep air flowing inside, it would melt. Enclosure didn’t help with the dead body smell, either.

The source of the dead body smell was, as can be expected, a body. That was dead. It belonged to the owner of the adjoining rooms, a man in his fifteen-hundreds who didn’t like you to point out the smell or oddities of his dwelling, thank you very much.

All in all, it wasn’t the weirdest thing about him.

Some people (for, yes, there were frequent visitors) thought the fact that he was lactose intolerant was the weirdest thing but, nope, they were wrong too.

One day – a very hot day, in which half of the kitchen (which was made out of Philadelphia cream cheese) – fell into the sea and the dead body (let’s call him Jim) decided he’d had enough, and melted the chocolate scullery to the ground/rock face.

It got stuck, which made Jim even angrier, and the skulls didn’t like it much either.

Writing Through the Night

It’s 6.27am. I haven’t slept yet and, at this point, it’s unlikely that I will sleep before I head out to my last creative writing class for the [academic] year. I’m considering walking into the city centre instead of taking a bus. It’s the kind of mood I’m in.

One of the reasons I’m still up, aside from being an insomniac/nocturnal and having a criminally early class, is that I was writing a short story that’s been playing on my mind/heart for a while. It’s inspired by a conversation that happened in my aforementioned writing class. And it’s a story that, I think, could be developed further. It’s one that I’m tempted to turn into a short stage play. One that I’m considering having sequels to. I don’t know yet, and that’s okay. It’s not the point of the blog post.

I just wanted to say that, in times like these when I don’t have the time or energy to write much, writing is still what I come back to. It’s still what I love.

Perhaps it’s cliche, but I feel like there are so many stories in me. I want to write them all. And not even in the way of overworking myself that I’ve previously written about. I just mean that I am certain that telling stories – whether by poems, or plays, or novels – is what I want to devote my life to, ultimately. (Well, that and love, but that’s a different blog post.)

It is one of my sincerest goals to be considered prolific – to get as much down on paper in my lifetime as humanly possible. I don’t know if I’ve said that before or not, but it’s 6.38am and that’s what I’m thinking about.

My Name…

If you’ve known me since before university (when I made the change from Elaine to Ellie) or have seen that I have two different names listed on Facebook, you may be confused about what to call me. Here’s a breakdown:

Ellie Rose McKee – my pen name.

Elaine McKee – my birth name (note: no official middle name)

Lady Elaine McKee – what my legal name became after one of my best friends bought me a token title.

Lady Elaine Herron – updated legal name to reflect my new surname. Which is to say… I GOT MARRIED!!  🙂   😎  😆

I am, of course, deeply excited about this development and can’t wait to update all my official documents. But, all that said: please call me Ellie.

This has been a public service announcement 🙂

The Need for a PA

I’ve been stressed these past two days. Very stressed, actually, and it doesn’t help that I’m not feeling well. (When am I ever feeling well? I ask myself.) There’s a lot of unexpected paperwork needing done, and right now I feel like all of my energy is tied up in trying to be a human person. (No doubt other sufferers of depression will understand that one.) So I often think to myself how great it would be, to have a personal assistant. Except that’s not the real daydream. What I would really like? To be appointed as my own PA, which I guess I already am, but to have someone else live the life bits of life for me. I’ll do the book-keeping and business emails if someone else can keep the eating, sleeping, and social engagements going in a regular pattern. Deal?

Words

Typography Design - wordsSometimes my head gets a little crowded, and I purge the excess words upon a page. And sometimes those words resonate with others, and that’s the start of something beautiful.

That’s what writing is about: connecting.

Sometimes you need to do it just to connect with yourself, and that’s cool, too, when it works.

Words are just pretty awesome, really.