Last week, I shared two blog posts about very personal experiences I have been through with regards to abuse. You can read them here and here, if you haven’t already, but the reason I’m talking about them again today is that they reminded me of a much older post I wrote on a blog that no longer exists.

I wanted to share that post again because these things are both important and not talked about enough. So, here it is: A List of Signs That You Are With An Abuser –

• Manipulation is when you’ve said no to something – anything – and the other person keeps asking until you say yes.
• Manipulation is when – after they’ve crossed those lines – they convince you that you were a willing party all along.
• Manipulation is when someone will tell you ‘You want this’ enough times until you believe them.
• Manipulation leaves you not knowing how you feel, or what to think.
• Manipulators will make you feel guilty for being confused.
• Manipulators will talk about other people, and flirt with other people in front of you, and then make you feel guilty for being suspicious of them.
• Manipulators will get you to do things you don’t want to do, to prove to them you’re trustworthy.
• Manipulators will sew doubts in your head about your loved ones, telling you they’re jealous, or that they don’t want you to be happy, or they don’t understand, or aren’t really friends at all.
• Manipulators will try to cut you off from these people, so they can have more control over you.
• Manipulator’s lies will stay in your head long after the person themselves are gone.
• Manipulator’s lies will keep you up at night, worrying.
• Manipulator’s lies take years to recover from. You’ll need your friends for this recovery, if you haven’t lost them all already.

If reading this post has been triggering for you, I’m sorry. If it has made you realize you need help, you can find an international list of helplines here.